For most of us, scanning through the catalog of a massive Hollywood prop auction is simply a rubbernecking thing, with maybe just a hint of the aspirational thrown in: Sure, we’d all like to own Walter White’s carelessly placed copy of Leaves Of Grass from Breaking Bad one of these days, or a copy of The Mask from The Mask. But we’re pretty sure Mister Rogers would be as pissed at us as he ever got at anything if we spent $25,000 (that could otherwise by spent actually helping people) on one of his old blue sweaters on a whim.
Still, sometimes when you look through these massive listings—like the one for Propstore’s upcoming Entertainment Memorabilia Live Auction, which it’s gearing up for later this month—you’re just looking for something genuinely fucked-up: Objects that remind you that even iconic film creations have a shelf life, and that, more often than not, propmasters are going for short-term impact, not long-term survival. Not everything can be the cracked, desiccated death mask of Mac Tonight, sure, but sometimes you can still score something in the nightmare-inducing neighborhood of a Heavily Decayed Yoda.
And, sure, some of this stuff is gross on purpose, like masks from The Thing or A Nightmare On Elm Street, or Frank The Rabbit’s costume from Donnie Darko. But then you get the image of what we can only think of as a skinned Cat In The Hat from the 2003 Mike Myers movie, or the sight of the severed toe prop from The Big Lebowski, which genuinely makes us feel pretty queasy while looking at it.
For those not looking for the grotesque, there are still plenty of fascinating treasures on offer here. You can own some of the neurotoxin “pearls” from The Rock, for instance (although the delicious-looking green goo has largely evaporated), or own the “You’re Fired!!” fax from Back To The Future Part II. Insanely big spenders can go in for one of the mosquitos trapped in amber from the start of Jurassic Park (expected to go for at least a hundred grand), or drop $60,000 on an authentic Leeloo Dallas Multi-Pass. And while we can’t, in good conscience, recommend buying the blood diamond from Blood Diamond, we can’t help but covet objects like a distressed Wilson The Volleyball from Castaway, or a pair of Garth’s glasses from Wayne’s World, or the Cinderella Man jockstrap that John Oliver and Russell Crowe have been using to charitably troll each other for years at this point. Hell, there’s even Lebowski swag that doesn’t make us want to yartz, including the priapic doodle the villainous Jackie Treehorn jots down while menacing The Dude. Just, uh, hold the toe. (We do not want to hold the toe.)
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